So, in the last few forevers of my life- I have contemplated what makes "I". Today I'm touching on the social norms that confine us and I am breaking a few of them myself.
I don't want to limit this only to the feminine readers, but as a person of female anatomy- I can relate to stereotypes that are placed on women. Obviously this topic is huge- but I am hoping to inspire people to look at themselves as individuals- outside of the norms they are supposed to be placed in and welcome you to feel not alone in all of the expectations you do not meet.
When any particular individual looks in the mirror, they see a color, a face, what they are to themselves(who they think other people see), but more even- they may see themselves- not the body- but who they are dispite thier physical limitations. This can be an abrassive topic because many people think/feel we are born into gender. Instead of argueing that we are not- I will just say there is evidence that says thats not true.
People are born of both polarities:- feminine or masculine in matching bodies and in "unmatching" bodies. There are people born with imcomplete sets of both genitalia(DNA)- people who are men by day ladies by night, and the list goes on. There are people who feel they are neither male nor female. Some people say this is an abomination- but I am pretty sure the bible says we are made in God's image- so maybe the bible is wrong. But I don't think it is. (not that particular part anyway X)
Today as you are walking about your day- notice body language. Often growing up women and men learn how a gender is to carry themselves. (Typically) Men will walk with longer strides than women, make eye contact and not smile( will not be the first to look away when seen observing others), shoulders out, elbows out, knees out when sitting, not usually cossing legs or ankles, wrists out, neck out. Women generally keep gaze down or will smile upon someone noticing them observing others, elbows, knees, ankles together, wrists held to body, chin down(not up) to protect vital arteries in the neck.
Some people may read this and think it's crap- but really just observe. If you are a girl make eye contact with someone and try not to smile, sit on a bus and sit with your legs open- with your shoulders out- keep your head up and nonchalantly look at people and don't look away. (if dining don't use a straw)
If your a dude, cross your legs, or ankles, smile at people if you make eye contact, be the first to look away, (drink from a straw), sit with your elbows in, sit with your legs together. Not all people will have the hardest time doing this. I know I do, sitting with my legs open is extremely alien- but I wonder if thats from habit and knowing that others will see me and judge me.
When people break these norms- people start to question your sexuality(or you integrity). My biggest question is why is sexuality such a big thing to everyone? When you look at someone do you see sexuality because you want to know how other people may or may not connect to you? Is it so that you can judge if you can pursue or not pursue? As I have mentioned before- (or wondered)- If you only see a gender when you look at someone- how do you know you actually care about that person as an individual and not as an object to be had or even just admnired. When you see the body as mostly the person- how much are you missing?
Reflection: when we look in the mirror- we see our own face, our own bodies and we know what they "should" look like, because we see images all the time about who we are supposed to look like. Men- broad shoulders, thin waist, muscles, don't cry, don't show emotion, anger if anything, have the answer, lead don't follow/ Women- emphasize those breasts, thin waist, emphasize those hips-but not too much, where's the make up?, do something with the hair- cute if short, pretty if long, don't speak first, don't initiate.
For both- lighter/clear skin is better, thinner is better, tall is better- money is better.
How often do we fake these? How often do we not? It's not bad to be one or the other-but often we are not satisfied with what we see/or how we feel because we want to be something else. I have met some many beautiful people who feel they need to change themselves to be happy- Physically or inwardly they didn't think they were "right" enough to be good enough. many people know their family would have issues with them being different-not the norm. How many individuals are sacrificed in the name of convention?
Challenge to you, do something out of the norm- bask in it.
Happy Thanksgiving.
MAS
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