God.

As a kid I just loved. Loved the people who were near and loved me for me. Whoever I might have been as a tiny body and mind. One of the people who loved me in a "it just matters to be loved this way" was Uncle Wally.

My Uncle Wally is brilliant, hilarious, inspiring, beautiful both physically and mentally, he loves to sing and dance and dress in Drag X) He is an entertainer. Half lion and half man- because he has the most beautiful main of blond hair in the world, and because he is so fierce. Uncle Wally was by far the person I remember as a child who made my existence as connected to him completely plain and understandable. He expected me to be me- and he loved me always. Uncle Wally has always called me his "Angel". ("Come here my little Angel"... every time I saw him)

My Uncle happens to be a homosexual. Not that this fact matters at all except it matters in my idea of acceptance and unconditional love= God. I of course was told silly things about "gay people"- all this did was redefine my idea of god. These people apparently didn't know what they were talking about.

But here is the cool part. Uncle Wally never spoke to me about God. He just showed me God. He told me I was beautiful when I could not see it, he showed me he loved me unconditionally, he taught me how to do nice things for others and for myself, he never told me I wasn't good enough, and in his career he lead by example- he has been successful at everything he ever tried to do. These descriptive words aren't working, so  i will use memories.

One of my earliest and most favorite memories is when I was about five or six. I was sitting watching T.V. in my dress in the living room alone. Uncle Wally busted through the front door and cried "My Angel! My Darling!! I have missed you soooo much!!" He was wearing torn jeans and a flannel plaid button up(stylish of course), he is a gasping must be 6'4 without boots but always in boots so glamorously tall! At that time his hair must have been past his shoulders, blues eyes, and always tan, always fit and trim. Just the most beautiful person you could ever see. He scooped me up- and gave me a giant hug. Being in his arms kept me so far away from the ground- I felt like I was flying. No one else ever made me fell so special.

Once when I was puberty stricken and Oh So socially awkward. Uncle Wally came to visit- he took me on a girl date LOL- that day he taught me how to get free make up and perfume samples from some fancy stores- and he still called me his "Beautiful Angel". We were in the car and I was being shy- because I had learned to not embrace me since the last time he saw me. He asked me if I liked the song "Smooth" by Santana and Rob Thomas. Before I could answer he sang in his very deep voice every word of the song while dancing and making the funniest faces just to make me laugh. xD

Uncle Wally is the strongest person I know. When he was young he fell in love with a man. They were together for quite sometime, but they found out his partner was dying of Aids and that Uncle Wally too tested positive. He lost the love of his life- and has fought for over twenty or even thirty years through surgery and medication. I was told today that he was doing very poorly.The biggest thing I fear for him is his own fear. As people have told me, they told him- he would go to hell because of who he was- who he loved.
I know he will not.

He doesn't know yet what he has given me. He called me his angel, but  he is my "Picture of God". He has given me the freedom to be me- whoever that is. To Him, I am eternally grateful. If you read this- would you mind sending him prayers and/or positive thoughts his way. Thanks.

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