I'm glad I am not anywhere else. I apologize if that sounds blasphemous- I am about to elaborate. XD
Last blog post got me thinking about autonomy. The individual will- both in philosophical readings and in biblical terms. Knowledge of self, separate from others and nature, came from the forbidden fruit. There may be debate on what was gained and what was lost, but knowledge that gave us the ability to see ourselves as separate and the knowledge to be wicked smart came about, no? x)
When the serpent said we'd be like God- was that "the will"? or was that knowledge/ self awareness? Anywho- with all the talk of love and autonomy- I began romancing on how beautiful they are together.
And how without the individual "will" human love would just be very much like that of what we see on the discovery channel- pink bottomed monkeys and zebras getting eaten for dinner. Boring stuff- mostly X) when speaking of love.
What I realized after writing the last blog is. . . It's hard to stay true to that example and even when you want to meet your ideals- they are just that- lofty goals. Realistically they are not always met: and how beautiful is the real world with all of our mistakes? I wonder if the Christian God is real if It just stares in love forever with our disobedience? What is more heartbreaking and more beautiful that the human will taken over by insanity- a.k.a- Love? xD
I just finished(finally) the Unbearable Lightness of Being. The end was astonishing. Hideous and inspiring. In Milan's description of Tereza's longing for Eden-esq love in Thomas- I realized, to me, his definition is wrong. The reason love between people is so special is that we can fight for one another. While autonomy should be respected- in the real world you are always battling between the self and how you can easily live with/please/yadda yadda someone you love. Because as individuals- two people come together to make a relationship and the separate wills clash. The ability to find a compromise- "the will" used to work together is something other animals don't really have to worry about, and that is beautifully special.
Granted some people don't ever do this, but when you see it, it is almost miraculous. 15 or 20 years together makes my mind seize- WTF!? How was it done?!! I'm not talking about those boring perfect people, or the really miserable ones- I am talking about the ones that argue in front of you and then kiss at a compromise.
I am glad at our mistake, if that's really how things played out. (If God is all knowing, did God know upon creating us that we'd be a stupidly beautiful, disobedient puddle of people?) Because while the idea is always to respect the other individual- there are moments where you are completely consumed- and to not be so is Hell. And there are moments when you consume and to not be felt or to be eluded is Hell. When all you want is that other person- and when you have each other- you clash- and it is Heaven. I love my ideals, and I love my own sin. I love our mistake. And I can only conclude that God does too.
Ending note- If we had not eluded God in disobedience- would it be as beautiful for us to love God? Non-human animals may love God, but aren't we humans just a Love story? Genesis begins with God becoming a hurt lover and wanting our will to concede to God's own. And when we do we get Heaven- and when we don't we get Hell. A friend tried to explain this to me recently and it sounded hideous- and it just fell into place just now- it's not that God(lover) wants to completely consume- it's the reaching out- it's the compromise that shows real love. It's the giving of the self in the act of love. . . DAMN! that's a cool epiphany to have while writing a blog. X)
Peace,
MAS
While I would love to revel in your new found belief of love, I am afraid my own recent epiphany doesn't allow me to celebrate it just yet. I've just now realized the beauty of autonomy and want to enjoy it a bit more before relenting to an idea of togetherness with another.
ReplyDeleteNow, let's analyze your blog. The Loving God is not a new concept, but taking the relationship as far a lovers is (to me.) First, let me assume that God does exist and S/He is the creator. Perhaps then, in creating us as companions s/he had an expectation of us to stay youthful and innocent (cuteness bias?) and singular in our love for her/him. In disobeying her/him, we came of age, became conscious individuals. Though we disobey him (grow up) we have the potential to come back and love her/him. That love is more special because it was given by us of our own free will. We know that we can disobey God, we know that we can throw her/him away, and when we don't it's a precious gift. In that sense, you're expressing love. Any love. Love between you and me, lovers, friends, family. You know that you have the autonomy to do what you want, but you instead do what's best for the other. And always taking that into consideration is love.
Now I ask myself, do I love everyone because I usually take others into consideration? I want to say that I don't because it's been my way of thinking that love is reserved for special people after a very through application process. It's just not that case. I do love some people more than others, but the consideration, if my previous statements are true, that I give to people is a love. But is that love altruism? I don't know. But it explains how you could love an adopted child as if it were your own. Because it matters to love them, and it would wherever or whomever the child came from.
I had an analogy for you, but I lost it. Will get back to you.