EGO! Who are you? xD

"The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man's body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life's most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into the heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?" ~ Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

I am a huge fan of Existentialism- I love Nietzsche, Sartre, and Kierkegaard <3 <3 <3  BUUUUT there's this great book by Milan Kundera titled The Unbearable Lightness of Being. I haven't fully completed the book, but from the parts that I am in love with- I interpret his idea of life and love are deeply connected. The three main characters that I will mention are Tomas, Tereza, and Sabina. They are the main characters so far and they are written so well <3 so beautifully flawed. <3 <3 <3

This philosophy is wrapped up in a story of heavy and light characters. Heavy being people who hold on to life in such a way that the love they express can seem burdensome at times. Lightness for Kundera is the ability to go through life almost disconnected from the ones we love and the world in such a way that pure enjoyment can be achieved. He seems to be confused- or maybe just shows that life is full of both heavy and light whether we would like to choose one or the other. Tereza for me in this book is the force to be reckoned with because she is the heavy character and affects Tomas in an uncontrollable way. Tomas at the same time is beautiful in his examination of life- but there is something in Tereza that is precious- and you can see it in the way Tomas loves her, even as he has sex with many other women.

Tereza's character reminds me of myself at past time in my life(thank goodness). Not to say she isn't ridiculously beautiful in all of her chaos. Her Ego is so incredibly fragile. She seeks herself and fulfillment in Tomas. Milan writes her character broken by others and she is both brave and cowardly at the same time. Obviously she is intense. x) She would rather suffer through her agonizing existence with Tomas than die- even as she prays for death.

Sabina is one of the many, many mistresses. She is beautiful and broken of course. She looks for herself and very definite traits in her lovers. She is the character who experiences the unbearable lightness of being, the longing for a burden for a weight- for her life to mix with others and to make a difference in the world. Tomas appears to be the one who brings her as close as she gets to earth- but after his death she has no one.

Late into the book Milan speaks of the "I" or the Ego and I realized that the characters all revolve around a sense of who they are defined or not defined by others. And how that reliance seems to debilitate each character in a special way. Here I asked myself "Who am I without the one's I love?" And another separate question is "What would I do without the people I love?" The small differences here in questions say 1. We are who we are because other people create us, or 2. We live our lives with people we love, and our interactions with those people mean very much to us. (and not having those people in our lives would make our lives significantly less good).

This may seem like a silly blog to write because some might think it's common sense- "Of course you should not define yourself using other people." But the "I" is such an obscure thing. Who are we apart from the people we care about? I have an internal battle that says- life without these people would be absolutely unbearable and without ever knowing them I would not be the same "I". That same "I" could not die if there were more people on earth who needed help- there is this something inside of myself that lives to benefit the quality of life of people who really need it. Not because it is easy or because it makes me feel good always- but that is must be done. (I don't know where that comes from)

I know that not everyone is driven by a clear internal voice. And so I have myself and have met others who've become lost at times in the love of one or a few individuals. While that existence is beautiful beyond words- it seems to suffer more. It seems a bit more lost. A bit more in need of rescue. A life on the verge of death. More real because it's existence can't be ignored. It can't be passed over without noticing the immense impact it carries on the individuals that experience it.

This blog is only written to maybe inspire the readers to ponder "Who are you aside from the people you love?" (Can you think of yourself without them?), "What would you be without these people?", "Who or what traits do you feel define your "I" or ego?" Happy pondering loves. xD

MAS