You will find yourself awake too late, in a hotel room, in the valley: contemplating the calm drivers who take the road with you here as we all travel to schools, meetings, work.
You will read a very old blog post and be extremely impressed by your past self and also amazed at who you are now. Don't lie- the other blog post you wrote about a year ago still brings you embarrassment. Who you have been in life can be cool- and very uncool. Try not to be too hard on you. You try real hard most of the time.
You will be hungry- you won't know what for: Love, food, intimacy, bits of the past, the future that lays before you, heaven that lays within you. . . or all of these things.
You will see cheek bones that remind you of your sunshine and you miss that sunshine. You will hope he comes to himself soon. Until then- prayer is the consolation.
A sweet girl will spill her fear of the her childhood dream after falling into the open ocean and you will assist in her journey of facing her fears for the sake of her future. As she leaves, she kisses you on the cheek- and you yearn for the best friend from 6th grade.
You will know your 6th grade friend and you have not seen each other in years and you are not in 6th grade anymore- and communication is seriously the most difficult part of life. The tower of babble was not just for different tongues- but for different brains- different hearts- and different emotions that are not the same for any two people. You will feel so far from others that understanding anything you hear, read, or even think will often be the things that keep you up at night- writing into space. . .
You will realize that poor figures in life will haunt you if you do not consciously acknowledge your hurt- your actions-your responsibility, and the hurt you caused.
Life will walk away from you if you do not keep moving, keep loving, keep growing, keep writing. Life matters so much more when you share it. Not to fret. Life is asking you to move forward.
And You Will.
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